Hammer,

I need a male’s perspective and I like your no nonense views on life.  I had a date last night with a handsome, charming man who I got a bit carried away with during the goodnight kiss process.  All night long I felt like there was a huge sexual tension happening and that he asked me out based on the fact that thinks of me as a woman who loves sex (because I said I did…and I do…but doens’t everybody?  it seemed like an appropriate thing to say at the time).  Anyhow…..he already wants to have an exclusive relationship with me and has told me some of his sexual fantasies and his fetishes and its not stuff I am uncomfortable with, but its not exactly my thing…..so here I am attracted to him simply because he’s handsome and sexy and things I am beautiful and sexy.  I am not some stupid young chick…I’m a smart old chick but I get stupid about men. 

I have another date with a guy this afternoon and we are going wine tasting, something I have never done in my life and am not sure about.  But the other guy seems much more down to earth.

Do you think I should see the first guy again or are the red flags waving???????  He lives an hour away and works weird hours so it would also be difficult to maintain a relationship. 

Thank you….

Dear dating:

It’s tough not to get carried away with all the excitement.  The first guy may have gotten the impression that you are looking for a purely sexual relationship based on the initial conversation. These things happen.

 I’ve found the best relationships are a little hot and heavy at first then evolve into a more realistic stable and steady pace. Take a deep breath and think about what you looking for in the long term. There are definitely red flags with the first guy.. procede with caution and good luck!